Music used to be my world. I grew up collecting vinyl and going to hundreds of concerts. I spent many dollars on CDs, DVDs, concert tickets, guitars, and other music equipment. I did concert lighting and stage production for years as well. It was my life.
Over time I lost some interest in music until I discovered new styles of music and new artists, piquing my interests in new possibilities of expression. I got bored with the crap that was being released and this new stuff was exciting and made you think about what was going on in the songs. It made me want to write more and in this more complicated style that I had found. It took off lyrically for me at first, becoming more able to express my own thoughts in different ways. It was also easier to write the words than the music that I was creating in my head since I don’t read music and am not an advanced guitar player. I know what I want to do, I just have to figure out how to get there musically so I do my best to get the feel I want in the music and have it “work” with the lyrics. Before the wreck I was working on my playing and was improving.
I think another part of not playing much is that I had a decent studio set up in my house in Colorado and got rid of everything when I moved. I actually had a full stage set-up in my basement and it was great for parties!
I got out my guitar over the weekend and did a little playing. I have not really played much since my motorcycle wreck. I have still wanted to play but the wreck has affected my left hand and arm somewhat so I now have dexterity and strength issues trying to play. It pisses me off to be affected like this but it is how it’s gonna be so I know I have to deal with it. I don’t have to LIKE it…and I don’t. After the wreck I could not really play for about a year and a half. My hand just would not co-operate. It has gotten some function back and will never be the same. But, I AM alive.
I also went back and revisited some of the songs I have recorded, either alone or with others. Quite a trip down memory lane that was, thinking about the things in life at that point in time. I have had some spark of creativity show up lately (finally!) after being stifled for far too long. It’s giving me some new ideas for my ongoing project “The Neverending Suite”, now just over 13 ½ minutes long.
One song I am particularly fond of is “Man in the Mirror”, the first song where I was able to really start to find my footing writing lyrics. It was one of the earliest my friend John and I recorded together, combining my words and music he had stashed away in his guitar for a while. It really brought back what was going on in my life at the time and was almost prophetic in how things have turned out for me the last few years.
I am going to be getting my guitar out more often. It is relaxing and the creativity is very gratifying. At some point I’ll be able to get some equipment set back up and make better recordings, but for now I will just do what I can with what I have. It still is fun to do the writing – in a sense it is a musical journal.